You are not a bad mom. You're just exhausted from trying to be one you're not.
For the touched-out, noise-sensitive, battery-at-zero-before-lunch mom. From one (almost officially) AuDHD mom to another: nothing is wrong with you. You're running on empty in a world that was never built for your brain.
Just a little clarity.
Does this sound a little too familiar?
It's 7:14am. Someone can't find their other shoe (out of the 11 million pairs by the door, lol), the dishwasher is beeping, the dog is barking, and a small voice says “Mommy?” for the fourth time in forty seconds. And something in you just... snaps.
“Why am I still so tired?”
“Why does hearing ‘Mommy’ make me want to crawl out of my skin, when I used to dream of hearing it?”
“Why does every sound feel like it's happening inside my head?”
“I know exactly what needs doing. So why won't my body start?”
“I held it together all day. Why do I fall apart the second the door closes?”
“The planner, the routine, the bubble bath. Why does it work for every other mom but me?”
“What the fuck happened to me?”
And underneath all of it, that quiet fear: “I'm ruining my kids.”
Not sure if you're neurodivergent? Doesn't matter. If the noise, the touching and the millionth “Mommy” make you want to crawl out of your skin, you're in the right place.
You're not broken. You were handed the wrong manual.
Somewhere along the way, you picked up a picture of what a good mom looks like. She's always available. She never loses it. She has the crafts, the cookies, the clean house, and the patience of a saint with a Pinterest board. Let's call her Pinterest Mom™.
And every single day, you measure your real, loud, messy life against her. Every hard moment becomes more evidence against yourself.
Here's the thing: she doesn't exist. That version of motherhood was never designed for a real human being. And it was DEFINITELY never designed for a brain that feels everything at full volume.
Meet yourbattery.
Every mom has one. Yours might just drain faster, and louder. Most of us only notice it when it's already at zero, sitting on the bathroom floor, wondering what just happened.
Things feel easy, fun even. The noise, the questions, the “one more thing”? You can handle it.
Sounds get sharper. Patience gets shorter. “Can everyone please stop needing me for five minutes?”
Tiny things feel HUGE. Making dinner feels like climbing a mountain. One more “Mommy” and your chest tightens.
You snap, you shut down, or you hide in the bathroom. Your body just says NOPE.
Red isn't a moral failure. It's information.
Your battery isn't saying “you're a bad mom.” It's saying “Girl. We are OUT OF POWER.” ha. The goal isn't to never hit red. It's learning to spot where you are before you hit zero. And your warning signs look different than anyone else's, which is exactly why I'll never hand you someone else's checklist.
The mom inyour corner.
I'm a late-realized AuDHD mom (currently on the very long waitlist for my official assessment), a mom of three in a blended family of seven, living in the Netherlands.
And I know this floor. For years I thought feeling terrible every single day was just my new normal. Crying in the bathroom. Afraid to take a day off because I'd fall apart. Holding everything in until it all came out at once. I once completely broke down over the garbage app. Not because of the bin. Because of every invisible thing I'd been quietly carrying for years.
I didn't fix it with a planner or a 5am routine (lol, no). I found my way back by learning to read my own battery, and by building tools that work for a brain like mine. Some days I'm still on that floor. The difference is, I know how to get back up.
I don't want to fix you. I want to help you stop hating yourself long enough to hear yourself.
Read my whole storyWhere do you want tostart?
No 47-step program. Just pick the door that fits the energy you have today.
Find out where your battery is right now, and what your own warning signs look like.
Take the Battery CheckFive short, self-paced audios for when your brain just won't stop. Made for the five minutes you actually have.
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Come on inFrom moms who'vebeen there.
I stopped automatically being the default caretaker.
I have been treading through burnout from autism, parenting, and life in general. Simple tasks feel impossible. Writing it down helped me see just how many of other people's things I was spending my time on. A few days later, I asked my coparent to send the email to reschedule an appointment, instead of automatically being the default caretaker.
I finally had proof of why I'm so tired.
I felt so much lighter, because I finally had proof of why I'm so tired. There was a lot I was holding that wasn't even mine, and a lot I could actually let go of. You made hard become easier.
Slightly shocked by how stupidly well it worked.
I was slightly shocked by how stupidly well the resets worked. Even on bad days, when I can only find two minutes between the baby, the house and dinner, I can still do something meaningful for me.
Join theBathroom Crew.
A short email, every day, for the mom reading this while hiding in the bathroom. (We see you. We're in there too, ha.) Real stories. No toxic positivity. No bubble bath advice. Just the truth, and a little something that helps.
1,800+ moms already read along.
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You can fuck up without becoming a fuck-up.
You don't have to perform motherhood. You don't have to earn your rest. And you don't have to be Pinterest Mom™ to be a good one.
You're already the queen. Time to get back on your throne.
Take the free Battery Check